Mind Games?

Oopsss...I have neglected my blog of late. There is perhaps a reason for this. I think I like to write posts when I believe I have been doing a lot or traveling or visiting somewhere, or just generally getting out and about. I haven't been on a plane since the end of June, and that feels weird. When I lived in Italy, I would at the very least go to London once a month for a work trip, so it is a strange feeling to have not gone anywhere in the past couple of months, and for some reason that equates in my mind to not doing anything important enough to write about.

But I actually am doing things, and am out visiting friends, family and old Sydney haunts. I'm working hard at establishing 77 here in Sydney, and have had a couple of wins, plus am constantly meeting people to introduce the business and find any potential business opportunities. Then in terms of health and well being I've been gyming and started running again which I am enjoying, plus am dieting, but with the intention to lose weight properly and then to keep it off. Oh how nice that would be! Personally, I'm still re-connecting with old friends and also making new friends and that is really good too. I have little moments of feeling lost, and kind of feeling stuck between two worlds, but I'm trying to just march through those moments and enjoy all the happy times I am having here. It's definitely not a "walk in the park" moving countries, and especially moving back to your home country, and this I had been telling myself for months before returning; being that the transition wasn't going to be easy. But more and more I realise that I am genuinely happy to be here in Sydney, and that is truly a good feeling.

What I am craving more than anything is spring and then summer. Even if the winter in Sydney is extremely mild (and lately we have had gorgeous weather) and short as well, I still just want to feel the warm sun on my back and be able to jump into the ocean. It's coming though...tomorrow is the last day of August, and that means its the last official day of winter...hip hooray!

Double Comfort Zone

Since returning from Milano to Sydney one thing I have been saying to people is that I feel like I've spent five years living in Italy, and that by moving I've left my comfort zone and life there to move back to my hometown. Meaning that I was feeling more comfortable in my life in Milan than in Sydney. Although I am not Italian, nor do I speak Italian fluently (it's pretty good, but I raise a high bar for when it comes to saying I speak a language fluently), and I'd never lived in Italy prior to 2006, I had established a life I was enjoying, great friends, home, job etc and was therefore comfortable with. However I realised a while ago that for a few different reasons I was ready to move back to Australia, and now I'm back.

Whilst I was still in Milan I'd had a few conversations with different people about the fact that without a doubt it was going to take me quite a few months to re-adjust and start my life here in Sydney again, and quite likely more than six months. So I've been pacing myself and not running around expecting friends and family to be as they were five years ago. It's hard actually to explain how good it feels to be spending time again with people I've known for so long, and have a history with. It's so easy to just sit down and start talking. I'm missing all my buddies in Milan though and have been imagining each of them with me as I catch up with my friends over here and thinking it would be great to have them all together. Wouldn't that be the perfect situation! I'll keep hoping that happens one day soon.

So back to my comfort zone, and yes, I'm still getting my Sydney head switched on again, but there are a few things starting to creep back which make me realise that I am in fact really home. A small thing like walking into a supermarket and knowing exactly where to find different certain products or knowing about Sydney radio stations and what types of music they play. So yes those pieces of knowledge are a nice assurance for me and great, because I've realised that I missed that feeling whilst living in Italy. It's the little things that we all know about the country where we grew up. That we don't have to think twice about.

I'm not disconnecting completely with Italy though. I joined the social network Meet Up and they have an Italian conversation class, which I attended once and there I met a couple of sisters who grew up speaking Italian at home with their parents. They also work in the same suburb that I do, so we had lunch together last week. Whilst lunching and speaking in Italian, a guy approached us also speaking Italian saying that he had overheard our conversation. Small world indeed! Last night I also met a couple of people, one Italian and the other Venezuelan who also live / lived in Milan, so out came the Italian and then of course at the restaurant we went to for dinner our waiter was Italian! So I'm definitely not losing the Italian lingo!

So all in all I think things are going quite well. After six weeks I am feeling less like being in the "land of limbo" and although I know I still want to achieve a lot more I not trying to rush things, rather to take everything day by day.